i got the Phantom DVD set! woo-hoo!!  massive excitement
ensuing…    i watched some of the bonus footage last
night.  i love that stuff.  it drives me bonkers when DVDs
don’t have any kind of “making of” or “behind the scenes”
footage.  but this one does (well, if you buy the 2 disc edition,
which i deliberately did for said reason), so i’m tickled pink. 

why do i balk when someone has an observation for me?  when loving
correction is brought, why do i cringe?  why is it something i am
so tempted to avoid, yet crave because i know it’s so good?  why
am i embarrased (as opposed to being truly remorseful and repentant)
when my sin is exposed?

because i want to be perfect.  and i want everyone around me to think i am perfect.

because i am arrogant.   and prideful.

essentially, i want to be God. 

in my pride, it is not enough that i am created in God’s image, and
that i have the amazing ability and privilege – through grace and the
work of the Holy Spirit – to grow in Godliness.  i want to be
God.  i want to know everything and exist on my own and have no
need of anything or anyone. 

and yet, my spirit cries out for help and dependence and reliance on He
who is perfect and strong and causes all things to exist by the power
of His word. 

“Wetched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of
death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So
then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I
serve the law of sin.  There is therefore now no condemnation for
those who are in Christ Jesus.  For the law of the Spirit of life
has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” 
Romans 7:24-8:2

“…for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”  1 John 4:4

“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring
it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”  Philippians 1:6

GRACE.  “When we don’t get what we deserve, it’s a real good
thing.  When we get what we don’t deserve, it’s a real good
thing.” — Newsboys song

Praise be to God Almighty!  I proclaim with the psalmist – “He does not deal with us according to
our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high
as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love
toward those who fear Him.”  Psalm 103:10-11


4 thoughts on “

  1. This is so true! One of the first things that comes to mind when being corrected is that I don’t deserve it. Inside I’m like, “This person bringing the correction is sooo overeacting.” But I have come to realize that the reason I don’t like it is because it means humbling myself. And my stupid pride doesn’t like that.=) 

  2. Amen to that. Too often I’d like to preserve the illusion that I’m doing just fine. Not that it fools anyone else, though! You nailed it, Andrea, it’s wanting to be God in my life. You are most definitely not the only one who struggles with this one Believe me. : /
    “And now for something completely different!”
                   I love that you ended your post with grace! Whatever your response was, you’re humility now is encouraging. Thanks for the reminder to fear God more than myself, Andrea darling. Today is a new day!

  3. Hey that was a good analysis, i have never seen anything like this on xanga (people spilling thier guts on thier sinful side). good job.

    the phantom of the opera is here…
    inside my mind.

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