very interesting article….

thoughts?

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10 thoughts on “

  1. are you saying we’re not buddies anymore. i don’t have the scruffy look and i think you would be dangerous with a pool stick in your hand.
    facinating article.

  2. er.the upshot is true.but, i speak from personal experience when i say that even being up front about a TOTAL lack of interest in a “romantic” relationship, doesn’t mean that you don’t end up with a crowd of broken-hearted girls.ok, maybe ‘crowd’ is a bit egotistical, but a lot more than it should’ve been, considering.so. there.

  3. true point, nicster.  ultimately, you can’t control other people’s reactions and emotions.  You can only be responsible for your own behavior, so it’s a good reason to be on your best.  But if you end up with a whole crowd of broken-hearted females weeping in your wake, you might want to re-evaluate said behavior.

  4. Hahahaha. It’s absolutely hilarious that my daddy and I had a conversation very much along those lines recently. Based on the heart-convicting content, I can speak for my dad and I in saying “We agree.”

  5. I think it’s a pretty good article aimed at both sexes. It reminded me of Josh’s first message on “Courtship Smourtship”. One of the things he emphasized in there was that unless the guy communicates something in person to a girl about his interest, with his mouth, in plain english, then she shouldn’t assume that he’s up to something. I really do think that should be followed, and it would help ease things for the guy so he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells at times wondering if she is going to misinterpret what his actions are.
    That said, having been on the “oops” side of the whole scenario more than once, I think the burden also lies with the men.We need to be the ones ensuring that our level of communication matches our level of commitment. Which, as I understand it, means communicating in such a way that says “we’re friends – as a boy and a girl. You aren’t my buddy guy, you’re a girl. Totally different.” The guy is supposed to be intentional in every area of his life, as much as he can. That’s different from controlling every area of his life. Being intentional means having a set vision, plan, direction and process of execution of that plan in place. This is for work, church, ministry, relationships, finances, walk with God, etc. To just act however he wants with a girl and expect her to react perfectly isn’t intentionality in that relationship. He may have a “vision” of being friends with a girl, but he seems then to lack all direction and plan; he just banks on her keeping her ducks in a row emotionally and ordering her life around his mismanaged communication. This doesn’t fly as leadership. Rather, if a guy desires to be friends with a girl (a good intention), he ought to define in his mind and through sorts of conversations with the girl what friendship his to him. From there, in his mind, he need to plan out: “Ok, how do I want this friendship to look based off of my idea as to what a girl-friend relationship should look like? What is the point of the friendship? Ok, then how do I get there? Etc., ” When a guy does this, he shouldn’t (hopefully) need to have the dreaded D.T.R. talk with the girl, because he communcation will reflect his biblical intentions he has formed out.
    The guy isn’t called to make the girl’s heart do what it’s supposed to do, nor sit back and expect her just to guess what his mismanaged inentions are conveying. His role is to be responsible and intentional and disciplined in how he serves the interests and needs of his sisters in Christ in their differing relationships.
    Long reply, but I think that gets at it a bit.

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